Swine Flu Shot

Although I have never had a flu shot, I am seriously considering getting the Swine Flu shot as soon as it becomes available in October. I am not at all convinced that the flu shot works, because they are always guessing as to what strain will hit, and they are usually wrong, but the Swine Flu shot is specifically for the Swine Flu, which we know is already among us. Also, I am now less afraid of shots since I am on anti-anxiety medication. According to the New York Times, "...the vaccine has not yet been tested for safety or efficacy." And the so now the question is, should I get the Swine Flu shot upon its unveiling in October, or should I wait to see if there are any adverse reactions to the shot, since it it is brand new? Which is worse?

Do the Antibiotics in Non-Organic Milk Repel Red Bugs?

Today I poured my organic milk into my coffee, and when I stirred it with a teaspoon, I noticed a little red bug floating on the top. It was tiny, like a fruit fly, but wingless. I called the milk company to report the incident, and then the customer service representative made the mistake of asking me if I felt sick. Before she said that, I didn't feel sick. I felt fine, even though I realized I had already drunk 2 cups of the milk this morning--a cup and a half in my oatmeal, and then another 1/2 a cup in my two coffees. I thought to myself, "these things happen" and "there are bugs in food sometimes." However, now I am in full panic mode--I feel nauseated and can't breathe normally. I called my husband to ask if I should take my alprazalam but he said no. So I sat down to write about it here, hoping that I would calm down by the time I was done.

Would the bug have been there if the milk was NOT organic? Would the antibiotics in regular milk help me to fight off whatever germs the bug has?

Water Bottles

Sometimes, when I open a water bottle and I can't remember whether or not I heard a "click" when twisting off the top, I pour it out in a plant and open a new one, paying better attention the second time.

Spring

Lysol Wipes and Chicken Soup

Today I made chicken noddle soup/stew from scratch. It's one of my favorite foods, and now that I load it up with a lot more chicken than I used to, my husband likes it too.

Today, I made a mistake while cooking. Maybe it wasn't a mistake. I don't know. That's why I'm phobic.

While I was waiting for the chicken thighs to cook, I pre-cut most of the vegetables, and then decided to start cleaning up the kitchen until I was ready to cut up the herbs and the potato. Eventually I took out the garbage, and then wiped the can with a Lysol wipe--the ones that are ammonia-based--the ones that say "Hazard to Humans" on the bottle. I still have a roll, so I use them to wipe down doorknobs and garbage cans on occasion. So, after I completed this task, I wiped the doorknobs, and then washed my hands. In the past, I used to wear gloves when I used Lysol Wipes, since it said on the very bottle that they were a hazard to humans and that hands should be washed after handling them, but I'm trying to work on exposing myself to the things that I fear, so I thought I'd use them, and then wash my hands. I've done this successfully in the recent past. Today, however, after I did this, it was time to cut the herbs, and the potato, so I proceeded to do so. As I was cutting, I started to wonder if my hands were COMEPLETELY clean. What if I didn't do a good job washing all of the hazardous-to-humans Lysol off? What if I'm rubbing Lysol on my potato via my not-washed-well-enough hands? Alas I again decided to face my fear, and I continued on with the vegetables, and finished the soup. Then, I started to eat the soup because I was so hungry, but after a few spoons took the edge off, I was terrified to eat the rest of it. This path was familiar to me. Start eating, get afraid, stop eating, starve, get dizzy, try to sleep, become unsuccessful at sleeping because I am hungery. In order to stop the cycle, I have to force myself to eat, despite my fear. So, I ate almost the entire bowl of soup. And then I waited. When my husband came home I relayed the entire story to him, and he said that the soup was fine, and then he ate a bowl. So then I finished mine. I am now terrified. I have a headache. Is it from the stress, or the soup? How long do I have to wait until I know that we are safe?

Stomach Flu Outbreak

Recently, one of my students wrote me an e-mail to tell me that she had missed class due to the stomach flu. Early in the semester another student did the same thing. This made me uncomfortable. Two students with the stomach flu, and me in the same room with them for 45 minutes, three days a week. But, I got through those two incidents without contracting the virus, and had almost forgotten about it when today, another student of mine came up to me after class and told me that she had the stomach flu and did not even want to think about food. I was trying not to breathe in as she talked. I was very upset and tried to shoo her away as quickly as I could, agreeing to whatever she said. I was trying to scurry quickly away from her without being offensive. I was upset, but somehow I still had my composure. And that is something that I can be proud of. After my 2nd class of the day, a male student came up to me to tell me why he had missed class last week. Same thing. I was so upset by this point that I forgot all niceties and ordered him to step back away from me. And now I'm terrified. Does this constitute an outbreak? I mentioned this story to the administrative assistant in my division office, and she said that three of the teachers in our department had it last week. And then I moved into the panic mindset. I got out of there as soon as I could, and almost hit a pole while driving home. I was going to head straight to my kitchen cabinet which houses the sedatives, but then I decided to wait, and see if I could ride it out. I tried to eat soup broth and toast, things that are easy to eat when one is panicking about getting the stomach flu, and then calmed down a bit and did the dishes. A few hours later I was finally hungry and ate the stew I prepared yesterday. I'm drinking my chamomile tea and reasearching the internet for Stomach Flu 2009. I'm finding articles like this and this. I'm panicing again. I'm about to lie down in bed with a sedative and some Law and Order.